“As soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.” Ram Dass
Have you ever really wanted something?
Have you gone on a job interview and really, really wanted to be approved of and get hired?
Or maybe you’ve met someone nice and before going on a date with them, you’re really hoping so bad that they’ll like you and want to be with you?
Maybe to you, that person was so attractive or successful that you were really hoping against hope that they would see you in a positive light.
What happened? How did it go? Were you nervous, you felt overwhelmingly awkward, or crippled by anxiety?
You might not had any interesting to say, but you just found yourself talking non-stop about inane things because you were so nervous!
Maybe you had a big grin plastered on your face and just smiled and nodded enthusiastically at whatever was being said without uttering a word yourself in fear that you might say the wrong thing.
Now, you may ask, what’s wrong with wanting things? I go after what I want, isn’t that a good thing?
The answer is yes, it’s of utmost importance to know your desires and pursue the things you want in life with passion and intensity.
When we’re fixated and attached on a particular outcome, our energy often forms a grasping, frantic, and desperate quality to it.
When we’re very attached to one particular outcome, we can become physically tight and contracted and mentally obsess about getting what we want.
When you notice this in yourself, the most liberating thing you can do is temporarily let go of getting your outcome.
Temporarily let go of your thoughts, feelings and wants.
You might say, But Stefany that is ridiculous.
How can I let go of wanting that job? Or wanting that special person to like me the same way I like him or her? I can’t let go of wanting that job; I need that job. You have no idea how important this job is to me. I’ve dreamed about having that job for years.
That’s the person of my dreams, that’s the person I’m yearning for. If that person doesn’t like me, it will crush my soul and I will feel terrible.
Yes, you very much want these things to happen, so you’re going to do everything in your power to make sure reality goes the way you want it to.
When in fact,
Letting go can actually help you be more likely to achieve your outcome (and feel better along the way).
In order to become whole, you need to let go of what you want.
We often cling to our desires and fight for them because we think we’ll be happy if we get what we want. But when we let go and accept what is, what we get instead are often the things we need.
These things tend to be the ones that really matter, these are the things that create true happiness and meaning in our lives.
We hold on to these outcomes with every breath we take. When in actuality we should be open to the possibility of releasing it so that we can breathe and expand into something that is bigger. Something much bigger than that limited idea we hold.
Give yourself the time and the space to become concise and clear about your being and your limitless soul.
If you can do these things you will get so much more than you want, you will get what you need.
It is hard for so many to let go, simply because letting go will make you question your identity, leaving you wondering if you give up on that one thing you want so bad, who will you be? What will you stand for? What will your future look like? Will you be happy? Will all your stress, worry, and sadness while pursuing your dreams be in vain? What will family and friends think of you? What else will you have to let go of? But most important is what will you so next?
And here is where the paradox begins!
“What will I do next”? The toughest question of them all. It can be scary to even consider.
Think about it, would you just want to give up everything you believe in and worked so hard for? No right. But it is here that change happens.
It is here that you become whole. Wholeness is knocking at your door, and you know what they say, “when one door closes, another door opens.
All that is required is to let go of the past, your desires, that job and that person you so badly want to be with and step boldly and bravely into your true self, your beautiful, loving, compassionate, deserving self. It is from this place of being that you may know wholeness.
The paradox itself
Letting go simply means liberating your dreams and wishes if you want them to come true.
As Katherine Hurst said: “For a moment, see your wishes as sparks of energies that, once released, travel across unseen electric impulses. When this energy becomes one with the brain and events occur corresponding to the wishes that have been received. If you don/t discharge your wants they will not travel”.
People get so disappointed when they do everything in their power to make their dream become reality.
They imagine it, they focus on it, recite every positive affirmation, meditate on it, yet they do not realize that all this focusing is also creating the inner- struggle between desperately wanting developments to occur and the reality of not achieving success.
What they do not realize is that only when you release your message to the universe and let them go, only then will they be free to travel and burst into life.
Michael Neill stated in his book ‘You Can Have What You Want Imagine
what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too
tightly the butterfly will be crushed, if you hold your hands too loosely,
the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently.
Why letting go seems like such an impossible task
We simply don’t want to let go in fear that we might not get what we desire.
We always want life to be perfect and so we seek the things that are supposed to make it perfect.
We want that great relationship, that high paying job, that hot body, lots of money, loving parents.
But what happens when we don’t get what we want, when we want it?
Suffering is usually what results. In pursuit of these dreams, we suffer more than be happy, thrilled or excited.
Just as having the courage to face your pain is what Khalil Gibran calls, “the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding,” learning to let go can actually bring you closer to the things you seek.
Little do we realize that we have everything we need inside of us. The more we let go of our fear-based perceptions, we clear the blocks to what we truly desire–love, happiness, peace, freedom.
It’s all inside of us and as we reconnect with it, we reconnect with our power source within, giving us the capacity to create the relationships, businesses, creative projects, outside of us.
6 Reasons Why Letting Go Will Help You:
- When you let go you’re more likely to actually achieve your outcome.Being fixated on and attached to only one outcome often causes us to do the very things that prevent us from getting what we want.
- Letting go can results in you enjoying the outcome more. The worst part about being fixated and attached to one outcome is we often can’t experience pleasure or joy even if we achieve our goal. Being attached actually causes you to miss out on the joy of getting what you want.
- When you let go, you make better decisions. When you’re less fixated on things going the one “right way” you’re much more flexible and creative. You see there are many ways to meet everyone’s needs and solve problems.
- When you let go, you can finally take control of your feelings. Feelings are just feelings. Most of us live as if our feelings are who we are. We deeply Identify with our feelings is even in our language. Notice that we don’t typically say, “I feel sad.” We say, “I am” Of course, we all have feelings and they have a significant impact on our behavior, but they are not attached to us and they aren’t who we are. And because you are not your feelings, you can decide at any moment to simply let them go.
- Letting go will make you feel better instantly. Almost all of our suffering comes from resisting what is happening in the present moment or worrying too much about what might happen in the future. When you let go, you allow yourself to relax into the moment and emotions such as peace and happiness are more accessible.
- When you let go, your body relaxes and becomes healthier. Being very mentally and emotionally fixated on something creates a strong physical tightening in your body. Your shoulders, neck, chest, or stomach may become chronically tense or tight. When you breathe deep and let go, your body can soften and relax.
Letting go is an invitation
Letting go is an invitation to heal you.
Your outer world is an immediate reflection of our inner world. The amount of inner turmoil there is in each and every one of us is reflected in the outer turmoil in our world.
That means, everything that you feel, have, or don’t have is a direct consequence of how you feel, think.
The good news is that you already possess what it takes to get what you need. This means that the answer is already there. Choosing to let go of your wants and desires, your suffering, your made-up identities, your negative thoughts, and feelings will bring you closer to your deepest desires.
You cannot guide your intention with inner struggle. Struggling is a sign that you are holding on too tightly. You only need to fire up your dreams with energy and allow them to fly if you want to help them to become a reality.
Imagine how different your life would be without the death grip of energy draining wants thoughts and feelings.
You begin the process of letting go with your thoughts and as you do so, you’ll experience moments of freedom and peace.
As you practice letting go, you begin to break the strong identification you have with the emotions that arise within you from moment to moment.
This allows you to feel more peace and joy, even when things don’t go your way. As you continue to let go of your thoughts and feelings, you will begin to feel lighter, happier, more at home and at ease — both within your own skin and in the world.
Over to you!
Imagine getting what you really deserve in life. Not because you wanted it so bad, but simply because you gave the universe authority to help you find what you really need. What is the first thing that you would let go to get what you need?